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1. |
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Attention, people of the world:
Santa Claus has been reported missing
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2. |
Santa Died
04:08
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Something happened Christmas night
It gave the children quite a fright
In the morning when they came down
They found a body on the ground
After a long, dreadful pause
They realized it was Santa Claus
Guts spill from the fireplace
Coal embedded in his face
Where’s Grandpa when we need him
To make our lives so much less dim?
Santa died
Children cried
They laughed when we called 911
They said we were just having fun
“There’s no Santa Claus,” they said
Then who’s this here, lying dead?
A man in a clever disguise?
We pull the hair back from his eyes
We all are shocked by what’s revealed
It’s Grandpa here that has been killed
A haunting realization
There goes my Christmas vacation
Santa died
Children cried
Grandpa died in my living room
My fireplace was his tomb
There’ll be no more Christmas cheer
For Santa Claus is dead, I fear
Santa died
Children cried
Santa died
Children cried
My grandfather I resent
Without him, no presents
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3. |
St. Nick's Hit List
04:12
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Of Santa’s two lists that are known to the world
There is a third that wipes out hundreds of boys and girls
This is known as the list without Christmas Cheer
Contains the names of children who threaten his career
With bludgeons and pointed knives
Santa’s elves take their lives
Children of the evil way
Meet their fate on Christmas day
Elves trained as rooftop snipers fire from a distance
Born to kill the children who are on Santa’s hit list
Heads are bludgeoned by Kringle’s mighty sack
Burdened by the murdered child, there is no turning back
With bludgeons and pointed knives
Santa’s elves take their lives
Children of the evil way
Meet their fate on Christmas day
At the stroke of midnight their cries become unheard
Coal hammered into their skulls, dead without a word
Organs of the little kids dragged behind his sleigh
All his dirty work is done, he slyly rides away
With bludgeons and pointed knives
Santa’s elves take their lives
Children of the evil way
Meet their fate on Christmas day
With bludgeons and pointed knives
Santa’s elves take their lives
Children of the evil way
Meet their fate on Christmas day
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4. |
Red Snow
03:50
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(Instrumental)
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5. |
Thrown from a Chairlift
05:41
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He is a man of the Lord
And he’s on the slopes
Spent all Sunday morning
Grabbing tow ropes
“Why aren’t you at church?” God screamed
“You’ll pay for this sin
Eternal damnation awaits you
You’ll forever suck”
“Please, my lord, forgive me
For I simply forgot”
“No, fool, I shall smite thee
For I’m Old Testament God and thou shalt rot”
“I’ve been a faithful servant
I don’t deserve this, see”
“Maybe you should have considered my wrath
Before you went to ski”
Cast from a chairlift
Into the pits of the underworld
Ejected from a chairlift
Punishment unfurled
Tossed from a chairlift
He falls down from the sky
Struck down from a chairlift
For skiing he must die
“So this is how I shall die
Punished for having fun?”
“You are just a peasant child
Thus your life is done”
And with these last words he spoke
The Christian died in pain
Cast from a chairlift
His training was in vain
Cast from a chairlift
Into the pits of the underworld
Ejected from a chairlift
Punishment unfurled
Tossed from a chairlift
He falls down from the sky
Struck down from a chairlift
For skiing he must die
Cast from a chairlift
Into the pits of the underworld
Ejected from a chairlift
Punishment unfurled
Tossed from a chairlift
He fell down from the roaring sky
Struck down from a chairlift
For skiing he must die
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Pyreworks Saint Paul, Minnesota
We're back!
Not very good melodic death metal.
Ezra Blumenfeld
- Guitars, vocals, drum programming
Ottar Blumenfeld - Bass, vocals
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